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VOICE ARCHIVE

Laurence

@functi0nzer0
82 posts
2025-10-21
Angrily tapping my debit card against the reader trying to pay for groceries but getting bounced because it's a crypto card settling on an L2 supported entirely by Amazon datacenters The future of finance
2025-10-21 View on X
CNBC

AWS says services have “returned to normal operations” after a US-EAST-1 outage, first reported on October 20 at 3:11am ET, that affected major services

Amazon Web Services, a leader in the cloud infrastructure market, reported a major outage on Monday that took down numerous major websites.

2025-10-20
Angrily tapping my debit card against the reader trying to pay for groceries but getting bounced because it's a crypto card settling on an L2 supported entirely by Amazon datacenters The future of finance
2025-10-20 View on X
The Verge

AWS says “the underlying DNS issue” is mitigated and most “operations are succeeding normally” after a huge US-EAST-1 outage; some services are still “impacted”

The cause of the AWS outage is currently unclear.

2025-05-16
I'm more surprised that anyone at Coinbase customer service was online and available to be bribed
2025-05-16 View on X
Bloomberg

Source: Coinbase's hackers had bribed enough customer service representatives to achieve effectively on-demand access to customer info in the past five months

On the long list of crypto companies that have been hacked, there are plenty of examples of financial losses that are much more painful …

2025-03-08
I think the funniest possible result of the new stockpile would be for the current US admin to spend three years painstakingly consolidating it into known locations And then President AOC just FSHs the whole thing into the void on day one of her presidency in 2029 Cinema
2025-03-08 View on X
Cointelegraph

Trump signs an EO to establish a Strategic Bitcoin Reserve and a Digital Asset Stockpile using BTC and other digital assets forfeited in criminal or civil cases

Now, Trump wants to create a crypto “strategic reserve.”  (1/2) @theangrydonkey : Earlier this week, Trump announced the names of five digital assets he expects to include in this ...

2025-03-07
I think the funniest possible result of the new stockpile would be for the current US admin to spend three years painstakingly consolidating it into known locations And then President AOC just FSHs the whole thing into the void on day one of her presidency in 2029 Cinema
2025-03-07 View on X
Cointelegraph

Trump signs an EO to establish a Strategic Bitcoin Reserve and a Digital Asset Stockpile using BTC and other digital assets forfeited in criminal or civil cases

US President Donald Trump signed an executive order to establish a Strategic Bitcoin Reserve “just a few minutes ago,” says crypto tsar David Sacks.

2025-03-04
Genuinely hilarious stuff This is going to be one of the funniest days in a while [image]
2025-03-04 View on X
CoinDesk

President Trump names Bitcoin, Ethereum, XRP, Solana, and Cardano as assets to be included in a strategic US crypto reserve, causing significant price surges

XRP, ADA, SOL post double-digit losses Molly White / Citation Needed : Issue 78 - President on brink of bailout for bitcoin CoinDesk : Here Is What Crypto Leaders Are Saying About ...

2025-03-03
Genuinely hilarious stuff This is going to be one of the funniest days in a while [image]
2025-03-03 View on X
CoinDesk

President Trump names Bitcoin, Ethereum, XRP, Solana, and Cardano as assets to be included in a strategic US crypto reserve, causing significant price surges

Crypto Braced For Another Trump Shock After Bitcoin, XRP, Solana And Cardano Price Boom CoinDesk : Here Is What Crypto Leaders Are Saying About Trump's Crypto Reserve Plans Matthew...

2025-02-22
I keep coming back to this: I truly don't believe there's the social cohesion or willpower in Ethereum to do this anymore The hardfork nearly killed Ethereum when it was much, much smaller Lets talk when it's 33% of all ETH at risk
2025-02-22 View on X
Bloomberg

Crypto exchange Bybit says a hacker took control of one of its cold Ethereum wallets, resulting in what analysts estimate was the loss of ~$1.5B worth of tokens

- North Korean group Lazarus suspected by industry researchers  — Prices of Ether, Bitcoin and other tokens decline after theft

2025-01-22
It's time Ross Ulbricht needs to start an exchange With a token Run it back
2025-01-22 View on X
New York Times

Trump pardons Silk Road creator Ross Ulbricht, a crypto and libertarian cult hero serving a life sentence since 2015 on money laundering, drug charges, and more

Ross Ulbricht was serving a life sentence for creating a site in a shady corner of the internet to sell heroin, cocaine and other illicit substances.

OFAC sanction lifted on Tornado Cash It's time for all good men and women to come to the aid of the party And run their entire on-chain networth through a mixer
2025-01-22 View on X
The Block

A Texas District Court rules against the sanctions on Tornado Cash, ordering a previous decision to be reversed; the US sanctioned Tornado Cash in August 2022

- A U.S. District Court has ordered the sanctions on Tornado Cash to be reversed.  — The price of TORN jumped over 140% following the news.

2024-11-14
Pardon?
2024-11-14 View on X
Bloomberg

Polymarket says the FBI seized CEO Shayne Coplan's phone and electronics; source: the DOJ is investigating Polymarket for allegedly accepting bets from US users

- Polymarket says FBI agents seized CEO's phone, electronics  — Platform has taken recent measures to weed out US traders

2024-10-26
Imagine getting liquidated in 2024 by Tether FUD 😭
2024-10-26 View on X
Bloomberg

The ramifications of a potential US crackdown against Tether, a noticeable player in the market for US debt, will extend beyond the digital asset industry

Of all the legal actions taken against cryptocurrency companies by US regulators and prosecutors over the past year …

Imagine getting liquidated in 2024 by Tether FUD 😭
2024-10-26 View on X
Wall Street Journal

Sources: federal prosecutors are investigating Tether for possible violations of sanctions and anti-money-laundering rules; US Treasury is considering sanctions

The U.S. government is investigating cryptocurrency company Tether for possible violations of sanctions … Forums: Hacker News : Federal investigators probe Tether r/Buttcoin : Fede...

2024-08-01
> be Circle > have valuation 5bn, cut leaked to press > wake up next morning > Tether post 5.2bn profit for half a year Astonishingly vindictive mogging
2024-08-01 View on X
CoinDesk

Tether reports a “record” $5.2B net profit in H1 2024, net operating profit of $1.3B in Q2, and $97.6B US debt holdings, more than Germany and other countries

Krisztian Sandor / CoinDesk :

2024-05-16
The SDNY just charged two brothers for baiting US$25 million of counter-MEV from bots by exploiting MEV-Boost fucking lmao https://www.justice.gov/... [image]
2024-05-16 View on X
CoinDesk

The US DOJ indicts two brothers for allegedly stealing $25M in crypto via an exploit of the MEV-Boost software used by some Ethereum validators

The alleged 12-second attack related to the controversial practice known as MEV, or maximal extractable value.  —  10 Years of Decentralizing the Future

2024-05-14
A travesty of justice
2024-05-14 View on X
CoinDesk

A Dutch judge finds Tornado Cash developer Alexey Pertsev guilty and sentences him to 64 months; Pertsev was jailed in August 2022 over alleged money laundering

Alexey Pertsev was first jailed in the Netherlands in August 2022.  — Tornado Cash developer Alexey Pertsev was sentenced to 64 months in jail for money laundering

2024-04-20
Everyone's talking about the Bitcoin halving, just made me realise how I'm half of myself without you around: I never gave you the rewards you deserved when we were together either. Tell your mom I said hey. [image]
2024-04-20 View on X
The Block

Bitcoin's fourth halving is now complete, lowering miners' block subsidy rewards from 6.25 BTC to 3.125 BTC; the third halving was in May 2020

Done and dusted! André Beganski / Decrypt : Bitcoin Completes Fourth Halving, Ushering In New Era for BTC Gino Matos / Crypto Briefing : Runes could solve Bitcoin's long-term secur...

2024-04-11
Hilarious that the only ally that Gary Gensler has ever had in crypto just got sentenced to 25 years in prison
2024-04-11 View on X
Fortune

The US SEC sends decentralized crypto exchange Uniswap a Wells notice warning that the agency intends to bring an enforcement action against the company

The Securities and Exchange Commission warned Uniswap on Wednesday that it intends to bring an enforcement action against the company …

You are once again reminded that you all have a moral duty to *never* hire any attorney currently working for the SEC crypto enforcement division after they try to move to the other side Their experience counts for nought, their credibility laughable, their knowledge void
2024-04-11 View on X
Fortune

The US SEC sends decentralized crypto exchange Uniswap a Wells notice warning that the agency intends to bring an enforcement action against the company

The Securities and Exchange Commission warned Uniswap on Wednesday that it intends to bring an enforcement action against the company …

“Let's go after the protocol with the biggest war chest in all of DeFi, an army of lawyers in their corner and proof of explicit decisions to play nicely with US regulators” It's just an insane thing to do It doesn't even send a message, we're literally all groaning/laughing
2024-04-11 View on X
Fortune

The US SEC sends decentralized crypto exchange Uniswap a Wells notice warning that the agency intends to bring an enforcement action against the company

The Securities and Exchange Commission warned Uniswap on Wednesday that it intends to bring an enforcement action against the company …